People are Fucking stupid

Why Tamitha Should Never EVER run....

2005-08-06T16:10:00.000-07:00

Break

2005-04-13T19:14:00.000-07:00

Tonight a manager decided to send me an email. Here is a copy and paste of the words she used

"You have exceed you scheduled break time.
Annie XXXX
Technical Support Manager
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
(XXX) XXX-XXXX"

First off you’re not my fucking manager, secondly if you going to scold me, you can at least use proper grammar or run a fucking grammar check.

Gooding Tour Dates

2005-04-11T18:25:00.000-07:00

If you haven't already planned to, you need to go see Gooding and buy lots of his stuff. Here is a list of the most current tour dates.

4/12/05 Tue
King ClubMadison, WI
10:45 pm
21+
$2
4/13/05 Wed
Wise Fool's PubChicago, IL
10:30 pm
21+
$7
4/15/05 Fri
Canal Street TavernDayton, OH
9:15 pm
18+
w/ Clemmer $5
4/20/05 Wed
Rock LobsterIndianapolis, IN
9:15 pm
21+
w/ Mardaly & Shemer $3
4/21/05 Thu
Blayney'sKansas City, MO
8:45 pm

4/22/05 Fri
Loft 150Wichita, KS
9:15 pm
21+
w/ Madahoochie $5
4/23/05 Sat
Cicero'sSt. Louis, MO
10:00 pm
18+
w/ Leo $7 ($10 under 21)
4/28/05 Thu
The VenueTulsa, OK
10:15 pm

5/3/05 Tue
The DeliNorman, OK
TBA

5/4/05 Wed
Mike's College BarStillwater, OK
10:15 pm

w/ Nick Smith
5/5/05 Thu
College Hill CoffeeWinfield, KS
7:45 pm
ALL
FREE show!
5/6/05 Fri
Loft 150Wichita, KS
9:15 pm
21+
$5
5/7/05 Sat
VZD'sOklahoma City, OK
TBA

5/12/05 Thu
Texas JiveDenton, TX
11:45 pm
18+
$3 ($5 under 21)
5/13/05 Fri
Hard Rock CafeDallas, TX
9:45 pm
ALL
$10
5/19/05 Thu
Red Eyed FlyAustin, TX
TBA
18+
5/20/05 Fri
Sidecar PubHouston, TX
TBA

5/21/05 Sat
Rhythm RoomHouston, TX
9:45 pm
18+
opening for Spoonfed Tribe Note: $10 tickets, $8 when purchased in advance at www.frontgatetickets.com
5/27/05 Fri
George's Majestic LoungeFayetteville, AR
10:15 pm

5/28/05 Sat
Cajun's WharfLittle Rock, AR
TBA

Now go watch and be amazed! Don't forget to stop by the merch booth and empty your pockets and wallets.

Tard

2005-04-11T18:21:00.000-07:00

Today I said something I found really funny so I shall repeat it here for sakes of a smile if nothing else

You cannot have a bastard without the tard :)

Why

2005-04-06T18:28:00.000-07:00

Well it has been awhile lately since I have made any new updates. Things have gone from bad to worse with my currently situation. On Sunday I have apparently suffered a minor heart attack. I have been struggling with work for awhile now and my health has been directly affected by the situation. As of this point I'm not sure what to do. Some people have told me I could sue the company as I even my doctor says that transferring out of my current role or leaving are my only two viable cures and the company I work for refuses to transfer me. Not sure about all that as I am not an attorney, however maybe some of you out there are. Hell if I know. I will try and post more later but right now im tired.

Lead

2005-03-28T14:02:00.000-08:00

So today I get this dumbass who just isnt willing to accept that fact his TV is what is at fault and not the cable box. He eventually asks to speak to a sup. I gladly call the lead line as im tired of dealing with this fucktard. I get a lead named XXX. XXX totally berates me for having this guy escalate on me and how this is what blah blah blah he does and how he likes to bend over and take it the ass or whatever because I quickly stop listening. However We file forms on our lovely leads as to how they handle our "situations" here is the comments I filled out on this one.

XXX seems to be upset with me having an esclated call and wanted to inform me of how "in working this job for 4 years" this is how to do it. I have worked in this field for well over that amount of time maybe not for XXX but same issue. If XXX does not wish to deal with escalated memebers maybe she should consider a career change.

Work against me

2005-03-24T12:38:00.000-08:00

Here are the notes I left in this assholes account.

Great Minds

2005-03-23T11:32:00.000-08:00

There is an old saying that says

"Great minds think alike"

Work my job for 2-3 hours or more and you will quickly find stupid ones think alike as well.

St. Patty's Day

2005-03-22T18:21:00.000-08:00

St. Patty's day ahhhhh. Good times good times good times. Well me and the crew got an early start and headed down to the annual meeting of green beer. It was hella Fun. Got to hang out with all my old m8 and then got an extra special treat when I was treated to see Billy Idol with my m8s as well. After that we hit an after hours club downtown in which my jaw decided to be a punk and give me a massive pain. Oh well after that we ate at a local Ihop. It was a fucking great day/night.

Been Awhile

2005-03-22T12:13:00.000-08:00

I know it has been awhile since I have made any updates, however I have been missing a bit of work due to my lack of being there number 1 and two I finally made it to the dentist and have been having a bit of work done there and between the pain med and just straight pain haven't really felt much like posting. I will attempt to give some quick updates here in a bit as to some cool things though that happened and will be happening soon.

Lying Fucktards

2005-03-14T11:44:00.000-08:00

You recently submitted your resume for the Field Service Representative
position posted on the *Piece of Shit Company*. This message is to inform you that
you have not been selected to move forward in the recruiting process.

As an employee of *Piece of Shit Company*, your interest in professional advancement
is important. Your role in this process is to communicate openly with your
manager and work with him/her to identify specific training topics and career-
building opportunities that will allow you to further increase your level of
expertise.

We encourage you to continue to visit the *Piece of Shit Company* Career Network and submit your
resume for future job openings for which you are eligible and that are a match
with your professional skills, abilities and career objectives.

Should you have any questions, please contact your local Human Resources
Recruiter.

Best Regards,

Human Resources

Eating

2005-03-13T13:52:00.000-08:00

Ok I'm in a fair amount of pain and in hell so therefore I will rant. Why the fuck must people eat when they call into me! That is sooo fucking disgusting to listen to. Ok first off let me set some parameters. First it doesn’t bother when

1. Customer has been on hold for 45 minutes and is eating while on hold and then stops once I answer the phone. It’s understandable they may have gotten hungry while waiting fucking forever.

2. Customer is placed on hold by mean so I can do something (call someone else, check something run, run a test etc). If they want to sneak a bite in while not having to listen once again no problem.

But what I can't fucking stand is when people sit there and eat while I am attempting to troubleshoot. Forget all the smacking I can hear you chew with your mouth closed (the few that do)! It is disgusting and you should have more common sense and courtesy than to do that. You can pause for the 5 fucking minutes you’re on the phone with me and stop fucking filling your face Fucktard.

One hit wonder

2005-03-13T12:57:00.000-08:00

Indie Band
Congratulations! You scored 70%!

You're starting to gather a small following of pop culture nerds. Scour the internet for Vanilla Ice's lost second hit "Ninja Rap" from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Movie.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 35% on Hits

The One Hit Wonder Test written by dannolan4 on Ok Cupid

A dismal showing if you asked me. Im ashamed

Music

2005-03-10T15:17:00.000-08:00

I love music so this will be a little odd for some people when they read this. Today my "all knowing and wise" company has decided to play music for us while we work. As I love music you would think this would be a good thing, however they can turn anything positive into a negative it seems. They begin this process by random loud spurts of static. They then get on a mic and blare a loud apology. Great! Off to another wonderful start of the day. Then they put on the soundtrack or maybe a sample soundtrack to Austin powers. Could be worse I remember thinking. So after hearing two songs of the soundtrack I notice it begins to repeat. Wonderful. After about an hour I finally hear a new song. It seems like they have taken every no talent ass Fucktard song from the 60's-70's and are now pumping it into my call center. I know what your thinking I must not like 60's-70's. Nope actually I think some rad stuff came out during those era's however none of it is being played now. I have now sat through several hours of crap, and in all honestly I would rather listen to nothing than this crap. I hate this fucking place.

Last 4

2005-03-10T12:55:00.000-08:00

Me: "What is that last four digits of the social security number on the account?"

Cust: "I don't know, do I need that."

Nope, just a random pop quiz Fucktard.

Rick James

2005-03-10T11:55:00.000-08:00

While Ft. Collins was an pretty damn rad little town, and Gooding played a hell of a set. Mr. D did capture one fellow who had probably one of the most interesting reactions I have ever seen to Gooding. Here is the clip.

Cheers to the company I work for

2005-03-09T18:32:00.000-08:00

Kill

2005-03-09T18:19:00.000-08:00

Customer calls in to see why his services aren't working. I pull up his account and see he has been turned off for payment.

Me: "I apologize (I know I'm not really sorry but at least it is us making his stuff not work after all) for the cable TV not working however I show our billing department has turned off the service due to nonpayment.

Cust: "I don't care if I paid or not turn my TV back on."

Me: "I apologize however I am not able to assist you with that request... (Dumbass interrupts me)"

Cust: "So you’re not going to turn my TV back on?"

Me: "No, sir I am not but ... (dumbass interrupts again).

Cust: "What is your name?"

Me: "My name is Johnny."

Cust: "I'm going to come down there and kill every one of you fuckers starting with you, now where are you?"

Hmmm your going to kill people to get your TV turned back on? Oh and you don't even know where the hell I am. Well guess what Fucktard I know where you are.

Funny

2005-03-08T18:32:00.000-08:00

A blog after my own heart. Great work m8

http://ihatemyflatmate.blogspot.com

Windoze

2005-03-08T18:21:00.000-08:00

Me: "What version of windows are you using?"

Cust: "What do you mean?"

Me: "Windows 98, ME, 2000, XP...."

Cust: "How would I know?"

Fucking Fucktard.

Turn off

2005-03-08T18:11:00.000-08:00

Me: "Click on start and go to "turn off computer."

Cust: "What is that going to do?"

Me: "Turn off the computer."

Comments

2005-03-03T17:35:00.000-08:00

Im sopposed to enter comments on an account as to what was happening, what happened on a call and any actions I take on an account. Here is what I put for this Fucktard I just spoke to.

3rd party

2005-03-03T12:25:00.000-08:00

Why do people get so pissed off whenever they call in for assistance and have a 3rd party piece of equipment or software and I explain to them that I cannot help them with that. I offer to help if they simply bypass the 3rd party equipment or disable the software. It’s not like I treat it like it is a leper. Oh well fuck 'em god damn Fucktards. Tomorrow is my interview all this will be coming to an end soon enough one way or another.

Weekend

2005-03-02T18:58:00.000-08:00

Well I am looking forward to this weekend. It appears as though Mr. D and Tamitha and I will be heading deep into CO, and checking out Gooding in a new venue. I hope it is a pleasant surprise for him and the boys. I haven’t seen Gooby since October I believe and haven’t heard from him since Jan or so maybe not sure on that our email conversations sometimes get quite long. Anyways I will be away from the madness of this evil place for a bit and of course I have my interview for my field service position Friday at 4 PM.

Swallow

2005-03-01T18:43:00.000-08:00

Co worker: “I can swallow $20 up."

Is that code for I will suck your dick and swallow for 20 bucks?

In a mood

2005-03-01T18:37:00.000-08:00

Since it seems to offend so many

BASTARD!

LOL. Not too offensive when I refer to myself as one you sad sad git.

Hurky Jerky

2005-03-01T12:46:00.000-08:00

Cust: "My picture is all hurky jerky"

Me: "So your picture is tiling and/or freezing?"

Cust: "Nope it is hurky jerky"

Me: "Is it making little squares on your screen and stopping the picture?"

Cust: "Nope it is hurky jerky"

Me: "Could you please define hurkey jerky for me"

Cust: "I don't know just hurky jerky, you know what I mean?"

No you Fucktard I just told you I did not understand and asked you to define it for me.

Banner

2005-03-01T12:21:00.000-08:00

Adding a new banner for gooby to the blog. Totally forgot they had these. Gooby can smack me when he sees me again.

Ezekiel 25:17

2005-02-28T13:02:00.000-08:00

Not sure if I should consider this a quote from the bible or from Pulp Fiction. Those in the know will understand why this is posted.

Ezekiel 25:17. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you."

Fuck

2005-02-27T20:30:00.000-08:00

I aint got a fucking problem,I just love to say fuck!
And I don't care who's around me,
I could really give a fuck.
And I don't care if you're my mother,
Or my motherfucking father.
I could really give a fuck now.
That ain't my motherfucking problem.
Oh, Yeah!I love to say FUCK when I'm driving in my car,
And FUCK when I'm walking in the fucking park.
FUCK you! If you don't like what I say.I love to say fuck every fucking day,Oh yeah!
I love to say fuck!
Yeah, I hope I don't offend you,
When I say the word "FUCK"
I guess you had it coming to you,
You're such a worthless little fuck.
And I don't care if you're my mother,
Or my motherfucking father.
I could really give a fuck now.
That ain't my motherfucking problem.
Oh yeah!

One nation under fuck with liberty fucking justice for all

Thank you Wednesday 13

Disease

2005-02-27T17:19:00.000-08:00

What kind of disease are you?

johnny:

johnny is caused by Satan.

johnny disease will make you be a preppy bastard.
To cure johnny, act like a muppet.

Update

2005-02-27T15:26:00.000-08:00

Well HR seems to be keeping their end of the bargain thus far. I have an interview for the New FSR position this coming Friday at 4PM. Wish me Luck.

The Term I'm Sorry

2005-02-27T15:09:00.000-08:00

First off when I was thinking about writing this post I took the time to look up the definition of the word Sorry. Rather Interesting results I found, at least I think.

sor·ry ( P ) Pronunciation Key (sr, sôr)adj. sor·ri·er, sor·ri·est Feeling or expressing sympathy, pity, or regret: I'm sorry I'm late. Worthless or inferior; paltry: a sorry excuse. Causing sorrow, grief, or misfortune; grievous: a sorry development. [Middle English sori, from Old English srig, sad, from sr, sore.]
*This definition was found at www.dictionary.reference.com*

The term I'm sorry has been used so fucking much that it really has no weight of truth anymore. For Instance when you first call me here at work. I'm required to say I'm sorry, even though A. I am not, and B. Its 9/10 my callers fault that they are in the situation in the first fucking place. It’s not my fault nor my companies but I have to be made "Worthless or inferior" and give someone a worthless "I'm sorry." Nonetheless however I'm REQUIRED to do it otherwise I'm counted off on my "quality" score for the call should it be monitored. Now I can understand the need for the apology when we are at fault, don’t get me wrong shit happens on our side and then we should be sorry, damn sorry, but apologizing because some is too fucking stupid to read directions or can't figure out how to hook up a fucking self install they signed up for Fuck that I’m not sorry I think we should charge you fucking extra for trying to be a fucking cheapskate and do it yourself when you know you fucking can't. Customers are not all complete Fucktards there is that 5% that can think for themselves. They also know that I'm simply giving them a patronizing statement. IF anything this is more of an insult than something of value and the way I see since the other 95% are too stupid to realize this we shouldn't do it at all. I mean why should we insult any of our customers? The ones that don't know cannot miss it as THEY DON'T KNOW. Anyways that’s my two cents on this. Not sure if I'm done with this topic but I got a couple of more updates to do so I will leave it as this for now at least.

Patience

2005-02-24T15:04:00.000-08:00

Cust: "I just went by the office and picked up a DVR (Digital Video Recorder) box and called the authorization number and it told me it could be up to 1 hour."

Me: "How long ago did you call the authorization number?"

Cust: "About 10 mins ago"

Why does fucking GNR come to mind.

The Future

2005-02-22T20:07:00.000-08:00

Well for the majority of people out there that does not know. Yesterday I attempted to quit my job. Due to many stupid policies and management's lack of care or knowledge I have had my fill of this company and was/is ready to throw in towel. After a lengthy discussion however with HR they have said they will move me to be an FSR (Field Service Representative). So they have brought themselves 2-3 weeks. For all I know they are blowing smoke up me arse, but on the other hand if not I could possibly land a fairly cool job (I think at least). I figure it is worth a few weeks to find out, plus I can still look for another job in the interim.

Constantly They Reach New Lows

2005-02-17T17:48:00.000-08:00

Me: "Could you check the connections on your tv and wall outlet for me?"

Cust: "Inside?"

Me: "Yes?"

Cust: "On the TV?"

Nope I want you to check the connections on the outside of the house and up your arse, Fucktard.

Box

2005-02-17T12:08:00.000-08:00

Im such a pervert LOL.

Cust: "I can't get my box to work"

What is there to work stick something in it and go to work dumb fucker LOL.

Version

2005-02-16T18:24:00.000-08:00

How in the fuck do people expect me to be able to help them when they do not even know what version of windows. Fucking Christ especially whenever they just got done booting up their fucking machine. IT SHOWS YOU FUCKTARD!

EOD

2005-02-15T20:30:00.000-08:00

Me: "I'm sorry that your entertainment on demand feature is not working properly for you, what is the 4 digit error code that you receive."

Cust: "I used to work for DirecTV so I know what you're doing. It is 3401."

Well great first of Fucktard DirecTV doesn't have EOD, so I doubt you know what the fuck I'm doing. Second, I KNOW you don't know what the fuck you’re talking about because the error code 3401 means that you have an OUTSTANDING BALANCE with us and we have suspended your rights to rent the movies. Therefore if you knew what the fuck was going on you would not have called me you FUCKTARD. Now go whore yourself out and pay your fucking bill.

What!?!

2005-02-15T20:12:00.000-08:00

Me: "Have you checked your connections and make sure they have not come loose?"

Cust: "No."

Me: "Could you check them for me please."

Cust: "Oh my Lord, I have to get up?"

Fucking Bollocks you lazy fuck Yes you have to get up.

Unplug

2005-02-15T18:57:00.000-08:00

Me: "Did you unplug anything?"

Cust "No, except the digital box."

Wife

2005-02-14T18:14:00.000-08:00

Me: "Well if it helps, we do not require the account holder to be at home just simply someone 18 or older."

Cust: "Well then it will have to be me because my wife isn’t 18 yet."

I didn't know whether I should beat the crap out of the guy or high five him.

Long Distance

2005-02-14T13:00:00.000-08:00

Cust: "My long distance isn’t working"

Me: "I'm sorry your long distance is not working. Are you unable to dial more than 1 number?"

Cust: "I don't know"

Me: "You don't know?"

Cust: "Nope, I don't"

Me: "Alright, well have you tried more than 1 number?"

Cust: "Nope, just my daughter"

Me: "OK. Do you get an error message when you try and dial the number?"

Cust: "Yes."

Me: "What does the error message say?"

Cust: "I don't know"

Me: "You don't know?"

Cust: "No, I don't listen to it. I just hang up and then call the operator and have them dial it for me."

Me: "Are you on that phone right now?"

Cust: "Of course how else would I be talking to you."

Me: "Well I was hoping you would be calling from a cell phone, since it is hard to troubleshoot a telephone issue when your on that telephone line."

Cust: "Why is that?"

Me: "Ummm, what is the number your trying to dial?"

Cust: "I don't know why do you want it?"

Me: "Well I’m showing you have active long distance with us and no blocks so I'm attempting to put in a trouble ticket for you and I need the number in order to do so.

Cust: Well let me find my wallet....(sets down the phone for a few mins then comes back) Ok the number is 555-5555 (this has been removed to protect the fucktard’s daughter).

Me: "Are you dialing the a 1 and the area code in front of it?"

Cust: "No"

FUCKING MORONIC FUCKTARD!

bunnle

2005-02-14T12:31:00.000-08:00

Me: (usual corporate approved greeting)

Cust: "I'm calling cause I need a new bunnle."

Me: "Excuse me?"

Cust: "I need to switch around my bunnle, you know my bunnle with my tv and everything"

Wow I never realized D's are so hard to pronounce

Sleeping

2005-02-13T19:39:00.000-08:00

Why do people pretend to fall asleep while I'm having to wait on them or their equipment. Do they think it is cute or funny? Currently as I'm writing this I'm listening to a man pretending to snore in my ear. What a Fucktard.

Kitten

2005-02-13T19:35:00.000-08:00

*puts on soundtrack for saturday night fever*

R.I.P.

2005-02-13T11:24:00.000-08:00

He was a damn good bastard. Everytime a man is blue balled they should remember his name....Bastard. Fuzzy Bastard.

"Flickles"

2005-02-10T15:01:00.000-08:00

Cust: "I got a million flickles."

I think you should call a doctor about that not a tech.....

Kindergartner

2005-02-08T19:51:00.000-08:00

Cust: "I am a kindergartner with a computer."

Well then you’re probably smarter than 95% of the Fucktards I deal with.

Late tech

2005-02-08T19:47:00.000-08:00

Cust: "You had a tech scheduled to come out to my house between 3-5 PM and he hasn’t shown up yet"

(I look at my clock it is showing 5:02)

Me: "I apologize that our tech is running late."

Cust: "Do you think all the rain, thunder and lightning have anything to do with it."

Nope I think he is just being as lazy as you are stupid.

Why?

2005-02-08T19:42:00.000-08:00

I have been asked a few times why do I not allow comments on my blog. Quite frankly I do this blog for me and me alone. I do not frankly give a fuck what people think of my blog. If you like it great and if not then quit fucking reading it. If you really feel the need to let me know your opinion my email address is provided there for you to tell me your precious opinion. Piss off.

Johnny

Move out

2005-02-06T19:20:00.000-08:00

Cust: "when your tech came out all he did was unplug and plug back in our box. Why didn't he do his job"

Me: "Well I'm sorry your still having trouble with your entertainment on demand"

Cust: "Well if your tech had done his job right I wouldn't still be having this problem."

Me: "Is all 6 of your boxes having the same issue?"

Cust: "No just 2 of them."

Me: "Could I please have the serial numbers of those two boxes?"

Cust: "No"

Me: "OK?, Well have you tried unplugging and replugging in the box to allow the box to reset?"

Cust: "No, and I shouldn't have to."

Me: "When the tech reset the box did it work then?"

Cust: "No"

Me: "Did he check the connections on the box?"

Cust: "I don't know, I wasn't there at the time?"

Me: "Then how do you know reseting it didnt work?"

Cust: "Because when I got home it didn't work."

Me: "Who signed the work order saying it was fixed?"

Cust: "My mother" (This says alot right here if you ask me)

Me: "So she signed off the work order saying it was fixed even though it wasn't?"

Cust: "Yes"

And your yelling at me because...................

A P.S. About the Weekend

2005-02-06T14:28:00.000-08:00

First Off I want to give one more Shout out to Jenny. Stay in touch and thanks again for being nice to us strangers. Now on to Angry, well lets says your hopes and dreams sometimes do come true. Just for the Bastard master himself. Interesting how you are using Mr. Su...Kitty to drive Fuzzy insane, as if that was hard to do.

Weekend

2005-02-06T13:03:00.000-08:00

Ft. Worth and the Texas Psychos how great you were. Thank you again to Rocket Deville and The Susans and of course The ALMIGHTY FLAMETRICK SUBS. Also I cannot forget the sinfully beautiful Satan's Cheerleaders. Special shoutout on that to Ms. Dukes thank you for the shower *wink* and the kind thoughts. No it wasn’t sexual to all you perverts....and if it was you would just be jealous but if she ever wants to change that let me know. The Lone Star was brilliant and I hope to make it back there soon as well. Thanks to Rocket Deville's Bass Player/Singer whose name I have already forgotten damn it for all the advice on Amps. I believe I remember all but if not I might be attempting to get in contact again if I can't make it down to another show soon. Also Lefty thank you as always for the words of wisdom. Maybe someday we might be able to sit down and Jam or something.

Password

2005-02-03T23:01:00.000-08:00

Cust: "I called in earlier and they told me my password is password, so what is my password?"

B double E double R UN

2005-02-03T21:13:00.000-08:00

Beer Run!!! Well The Tamitha has given me good news tomorrow I should be heading to see the Subs playing. WOOHOO good beer LONE STAR beer even ;) hopefully i can bring some back. Also I will be placing a new order for ingrediants in the next few days so I can brew more Rotten Brew in time for St Patty's ;) Nothing like some 10-12 point. I hate working here but at least my mood is better now.

Simple can be good

2005-02-03T21:11:00.000-08:00

Me: "Is your modem connected with a splitter or is it a direct connection from the wall?"

Cust: "Well it connects t o the phone box and then it comes out and goes to a splitter behind the TV and (etc, I’m lazy and I'm not typing the rest of this fucktard’s answer).

A Simple yes it has a splitter would have fucking worked Fucktard.

Taking over

2005-02-01T20:28:00.000-08:00

Cust: "When I take over the world all cords will be in the front instead of looped around the back."

Great so I can have a cord hanging down in front of my TV, or strung out of the front of my entertainment center and along the side of it to the wall outlet. Great fucking idea Fucktard.

Shut Down

2005-02-01T20:25:00.000-08:00

Me: "Let me know when your computer is completely shut down."

Cust: "Do you want it completely off?"

Nope, just enjoy so it can shock the shit of you Fucktard.

Another Quote

2005-02-01T20:23:00.000-08:00

Me: "Thank you for calling ___________ Technical Support. My name is Johnny and I can help you."

Cust: "Nothing is doing anything."

Damn you nothing. Quit being a lazy bastard.

Could it be??

2005-02-01T20:19:00.000-08:00

Cust: "Why does it mess up every time I run my antivirus scan? Is it my antivirus program?"

Nope, I believe it is an id10t user error.

quote

2005-01-31T20:44:00.000-08:00

Cust: "It's doing its computer jargon."

Is that a new dance?

Welcome Back

2005-01-31T17:47:00.000-08:00

Welcome back to hell Mr. Roofy

Well after an interesting week last week Fucktards are amazingly more annoying than ever.

Me: "Could you please restart your computer for me"

Cust: "Shut down the computer or restart it?"

What the fuck did I say????????

Food Poisoning

2005-01-28T13:28:00.000-08:00

For those that do not know Johnny hasn’t been feeling well lately and according to his doctor he has food poisoning. Therefore until Johnny is feeling better he won’t be making updates to his blog. Please do not email him asking why because this information has now been provided on his blog and please do not email him asking him to update his blog. If you wish to email a get well wish or something that is fine but he is getting a lot of email for updates of which wont be coming until he feels better. Thank you for your support.

The Bastard Management

If you keep that shit up

2005-01-21T20:33:00.000-08:00

We are going to have to change your name to Soft Old Lonely Bastard.

Ag Front

2005-01-21T18:03:00.000-08:00

So the Ag Front show was last night, 12 bucks to get in. I missed the first 2 bands becaue for some odd reason the show started extremely early at 7 PM. The 3rd band (1st I saw of the evening) I had never heard of. They were called the Explosion. They kicked ass and thank god they did because Ag Front who was next only played for 20 mins. They only had a 45 min. slot to start with they they didnt even play all of that. Rather disappointing however they did say they had to leave right away as they had i believe they said a 14 hour drive to the next show the next night. Still that didnt help me fill the gap of lack of entertainment.

Customer Complaint on Me

2005-01-20T14:10:00.000-08:00

Ms (Bitch) called to complain on (me). She said that he was very rude and hateful to her and accused her of being belligerent. (Johnny) made comments to the customer like - “stop acting like a 2 year old” and “what do u want? A cookie”. In the end the customer said that she was placed on mute until she hung up. Customer was very shocked and would like this representative reprimanded/coached.

Thanks

Good thing I kept her address. *wink*

Nun

2005-01-19T21:04:00.000-08:00

Ok I cannot seem to find a decent picture of a nun tied up with red ball gag. I'm looking for something at least simi tasteful.

An afterthought on freedom

2005-01-19T20:37:00.000-08:00

An Afterthought on my previous posting about freedom, This has to be fucking true other fat Fucktard like Stevie would never get fucking laid cause no one would CHOOSE to be with a fat fuck like that.

Email Addy

2005-01-19T20:33:00.000-08:00

Asshole calls in about wanting to move an email address from 1 account of his to another. He deleted the email address off the old account and is waiting for it to be available again so he can add it to the other account and wants to know how long it will take. I tell him that the normal process is 6 months however since he had on a old account it should not be a problem for me to be able to push it through the system. So I gather his information and notice it is like 10:17 PM at this point. The people who do this leave at 10:00 but I call over there to make sure and maybe who knows someone might be working late. Nope I get call back tomorrow we are closed. I explain to asshole the issue and advise him I will email them and have it done tomorrow. He goes ballistic wanting a supervisor on the phone because someone should be able to do it right now. After telling the Fucktard this isn't a matter of authority it is a matter of him calling in too late tonight to get what he wanted the asshole hangs up on me. You will never believe what happens next. Somehow I lost all of his information and can not fill out the email. Darn looks like it wont be getting moved tonight Fucktard.

Freedom

2005-01-18T19:23:00.000-08:00

Everyone has the right to freedom of opinion and expression; this right includes freedom to hold opinions without interference and to seek, receive and impart information and ideas through any media and regardless of frontiers. - Article 19, Universal Declaration of Human Rights

That translates too: If you don't like my blog stop fucking reading it you Idiotic Fucktard(s).

Stolen

2005-01-18T17:51:00.000-08:00

Cust: "My cable box was stolen while I was asleep"

I wasnt sure if I should have laughed or felt sorry for the guy...I laughed I couldnt help it. I honestly wasnt laughing so much at the man whose box was stolen but at the theif that stole it. What in the hell are you going to do with a stolen box? Its not like you can use it. He/She will probably sell it on ebay. Still rather funny to me.

Smart man....not really

2005-01-18T16:29:00.000-08:00

Fucktard calls in because he was unable turn his cable box off. Our cable box remotes are as I have mentioned before designed to be able to control other devices. I ask him if when he pushes the power button if the CBL button on the remote lights up. He says no. I tell him to push the CBL button then the power button and ask if it turns off the cable box. He delightfully says yes then adds

Cust: "You have to be a smart man to operate."

Well I would tend to think most surgeons are at least somewhat smart, although I'm sure there are those that are Fucktards as well. However I'm fairly sure he meant to "operate the remote". I think as long as your IQ is well above says a rock's you should be able to handle it though.

Nope they still don't listen

2005-01-18T16:10:00.000-08:00

Me: "Is there a VCR or anything like that currently turned on?"

Cust: "Yes"

Me: "Have you tried to turn it off?"

Cust: "It isn't on right now"

For the super geek

2005-01-14T18:30:00.000-08:00

The new Battlestar Galatica is debuting tonight on the Sci Fi channels...we actually have a rush of calls from people attempting to order the channel just because of it. Maybe Fuzzy has spawned LOL.

Pisser

2005-01-13T19:22:00.000-08:00

You know it really pisses me off when i go take a crap then get up wash my hands then have to piss.

Hell Day

2005-01-12T20:25:00.000-08:00

Today has been less than a pleasurable day. In case you don’t know my call center supports my entire state which includes 2 large cities and then several surrounding areas for the most part. Today one of those cities had a storm which knocked out most of the city's internet access. Thus
The Fucktards runneth over. So many stupid fucking questions, so many times you’re in an outage area, and of course so many times that was never a good enough answer. This continued from about most of the day. I swear like 30 minutes after they finally got the majority of those fixed what happens......email access for the whole state on both our web mail and Pop3 goes out (it is still out as of the time of me writing this. Once again many stupid questions, once again most every call I'm sorry your email isn’t working there is a known issue with it and were working to resolve it, once again it is never a good enough answer the Fucktards.

Testing Audio Feature......

2005-01-12T10:00:00.000-08:00

Die Dummerspieljunge's back

2005-01-11T21:32:00.000-08:00

Well Die Dummerspieljunge came back from his vacation today, and him and sidekick wasted no time to discuss every single thing they have done on W.O.W. over like the last 3 weeks. They have also taken up some sort of card game in which they are now trying to discover all the loops holes to "manipulate" the rules as they put. I’m really considering getting the audio blog so I can tape them and show you want I get to hear for hours on end spewing from their mouths.

To Whom It May Concern But Will Never Read This "Because He/She Never Reads My Blog"

2005-01-11T20:33:00.000-08:00

First off to quote you on a previous date: "These are my last words to you. No need to reply because all attempts will go unanswered." I guess it is now documented on how good your word is. I realize counting to 3 can be a daunting task for one with such a witty satire and creative way with the English Language, however I hate to tell you this but there are LOTS of sites out there that throw "potshots" (I find it rather interesting you use that term. More proof of the kettle and Pot story I suppose) at you. There are countless sites of people who hate fat Fucktards and those all apply to you. There are several blogs in which rant about Fucktards and idiots. Those are all "potshots" for you. So as proud as we members of the Bastard Squad are of you climbing that mountain to the number 3 we are sorry to inform you are A FUCKING RETARD. :) Also why is it that people that are so fucked up always are the ones giving advice? Why the fuck would anyone who knows you, knows the shit stir up, why in gods name would they follow advice from you? Follow your own advice "self loathing and pity get you nowhere" "you have to stop wha† it is that you are doing and make things better for yourself." If you don’t like what I say on my blog or for the fact any website, book, TV channel or whatever you can simply turn the channel, get a different book or not go to that website/blog. It’s not hard and I’m sure you even have a remote so your fat arse doesn’t have to get up.

Directions

2005-01-11T20:12:00.000-08:00

People call us up all the time wanting help with their remotes as they can often time be programmed to control other devices such as a VCR, DVD Player etc. A few never got code book or like the majority of my Fucktards they have either lost their code book or just too much of a Fucktard to read and comprehend it. There are often SEVERAL codes for the TV manufacturers. Instead of going through each individual code I will simply have the Fucktard write down all the codes then instruct them on how to input them then let them go. Occasionally however you get that one fucker that says he is writing down the instruction but isn’t. Instead he thinks he will be smooth and just do it as I tell him what to do. Those cats are fun to deal with because I give them wrong codes and etc so after I try "all" of the codes I apologize and inform him that the universal remote isn't compatible with his equipment and will have to use the actual remote for the device.

Spam

2005-01-11T19:52:00.000-08:00

Shut up about fucking spam. This is an old problem and there is plenty of literature about it and stop wasting my fucking time and bothering me because you are too lazy to fucking read up on the problem. Fuck off Fucktard.

LOL!

2005-01-11T19:48:00.000-08:00

Male Cust: "Someone came by and took my box."

I take it your post op then? If I had purchased a snatch I would be pissed off too if someone took it. LOL

Bad calls start Like this......

2005-01-11T19:42:00.000-08:00

Cust: "I might not have followed the directions right."

Well no shit Fucktard

Babe Computer

2005-01-11T19:27:00.000-08:00

Cust: "It's a real pretty computer."

Yep I bet it looks hot in a bikini.

ADD

2005-01-11T19:00:00.000-08:00

Pretty much all Fucktards seem to suffer from ADD. They can never seem to stay focused on 1 problem at a time. I understand they may have multiple issues, and I do my best to resolve all of them but Jesus! Let me fix one at a time. I promise it will work much better that way.

Misuse

2005-01-11T18:13:00.000-08:00

Fucktards often times in a vain attempt to appear intelligent will use the terms upload and download. The problem with this they CONSTANTLY are misusing the terms. Example "I am attempting to download your CD to my computer." No, you are RUNNING our CD, or you could say that you're INSTALLING our CD. (Of course that would also hence that there is software to install on our CD but that is a different post). So for the benefits of Fucktards and all those that they annoy with this common annoyance here you go.

up·load ( P ) Pronunciation Key ( p l d )v. Computer Science up·load·ed, up·load·ing, up·loads v. tr.
To transfer (data or programs), usually from a peripheral computer or device to a central, often remote computer.
v. intr.
To transfer data or programs to a central computer.

down·load ( P ) Pronunciation Key (doun l d )tr.v. down·load·ed, down·load·ing, down·loads
To unload: download cargo from a transport aircraft.
Computer Science. To transfer (data or programs) from a server or host computer to one's own computer or device.

Mini Me Drunk

2005-01-11T17:20:00.000-08:00

Da Brat: "He's outside your door naked in his chair.......................pissing.

Time for Mr. D to drool

2005-01-11T17:14:00.000-08:00

Check it out

*puts on rain coat and umbrella*

Spam Filter

2005-01-11T16:25:00.000-08:00

How fucking hard is this to follow. 3 fucking options. Not that fucking difficult and should not require me to spend 20 minutes explaining them, and for Christ's sake it took 7 minutes to explain option number 3 to the Fucktard.

Don't Fucking Tell Me This

2005-01-11T16:12:00.000-08:00

Cust: "We had a nerd come and do this for us."

Who do you think works the fucking help desk as well Fucktard.

Damn Slow Poke

2005-01-11T15:22:00.000-08:00

Well the youngest bastard has finally managed to put up his blog Check it out here Savage Bastard.

Foodstamp Tard

2005-01-11T15:17:00.000-08:00

Guy calls in because every time he tries to dial the 800 number for the "Food stamp people" he is getting a busy signal and can't figure why that is happening. I pull up his account and dial the number and get a busy signal as well. While I'm doing this I check around his account to make sure there isn't anything wrong. I look at the billing and notice that he has digital cable with 3 boxes, high speed internet, and then the lifeline telephone service (which is telephone service for about $1 designed to help less than wealthy people still have a phone). So I know this guy is getting a break on phone and buying food for his family because he is calling into the "food stamp people" however he manages to have all kinds of service from us and he also buys a ton of our "porn" on average he has about 400 dollar bills per month. At this point I’m pretty much like this dude can fuck off. There are plenty of families that need food stamps and aren't getting them because Fucktard Jackasses like him are abusing the system. I inform him I got a busy signal as well so it is simply them being busy with other people. He gets all pissy with me. So I disabled his pay per view based upon if he needs lifeline phone he shouldn’t be buying pay per view. 2 6 hour block of "porn" would easily pay for normal telephone service. I don't really remember what all he said because I wasn't really listening and was busy concentrating on other things more important, like why is the sky blue oh wait I know that.......ok maybe it was Why Fucktards Exist....yep that was probably it. I still haven't figured that shit out.

Birthday Shout Out

2005-01-07T20:49:00.000-08:00

I thought I would give the wise ass old man a birthday shout out. I hope you have a good one.

Words Of Wisdom

2005-01-07T19:48:00.000-08:00

I was once told "Just because I can doesn’t mean I should" I combat that philosophy with "It is better to regret the things that you have done than the things you haven't done."

and because I can't resist when you see your mom this weekend tell SATAN SATAN SATAN

I Don't Need

2005-01-07T19:10:00.000-08:00

Just like certain families should stop breeding, I do not need Fucktards to constantly tell the box isn’t back on yet every 30 seconds for the full 2-3 minutes that the box takes to reboot. I know this whole rebooting thing seems to baffle most of them but for Christ’s sake fuck off.

Out to get her

2005-01-06T21:16:00.000-08:00

This Fucktard calls in because she wants to know when her scheduled tech was going to arrive because he was running late according to her. I pull up the account and look up the work order information. I'm showing that the work order was canceled due to a known line issue in the area and that the customer was called and a message left on her voicemail/answering machine. I ignore the fact we have already tried to contact her and left a message, maybe she hasn’t thought about checking her messages. I explain the situation and she gets pissed off at me because she claims I canceled the work order to try and sabotage her from getting her cable service and wants someone to still come out to her house. I assure her I haven't but offer to go ahead and setup a new trouble call for someone to come out to the house. She refuses to let me setup the trouble call on grounds that I am out to sabotage her. I ask then if there is anything further I can do for her. She says no and hangs up.

Yep I'm out to get you. You saw right through me Fucktard. Damn

The Weather Channel

2005-01-06T21:03:00.000-08:00

Customer calls in upset because the weather channel is showing national weather as opposed to his current local weather. When I tried to explain that the weather channel shows national weather mainly but does rotate in some local weather information as well the customer became very upset and wanted to know how they could say they gave up to date information and claim to be local. Rather than argue with the fucktard I offered to give him the weather channel's information so He could write or call them and let him know his feelings about the situation. However as soon as he realized he would have to take the time to write or make a long distance call he quickly admitted defeat to himself and disconnected.

You Know Who You Are

2005-01-06T20:42:00.000-08:00

If by some chance the fucktard I just spoke to was to read my blog....To quote Lars:

Well I’ll creep in your room when your not there
Well I’ll creep in your head and I’ll creep in your bed
And your walls will be stained with the blood that you bled I cut you open
Well I’ll roll your pieces in a shower curtain and then
When it's all said when it’s said and done
Well we had some fun yeah me and you

I’m coming after you you dirty bitch

RIVERSIDE DR APT 139

Logo News

2005-01-06T18:22:00.000-08:00

Well the bastard logo is entering into phase 2 this weekend. Hopefully it will be done soon. It is the largest thing I have ever tried to do so I keep running into various little issues however it is coming along nicely.